This past Friday and Saturday I was privileged to attend 2 graduation ceremonies (okay - I was required to go as a faculty member but it is fun to see former students on such a momentous occasion). I have been known to carry a book to graduation, especially since I hear the same speaker/ speech twice in 2 days. This year, I didn't crack my book - in either ceremony! The speaker talked about sacrifice - as he defined "choosing to suffer". He reminded us that sacrifice exponentially increases the outcome of whatever it is attached to. Sacrifice it not moral and can be used in any cause - good or bad.
To explain why this address had such an impact on me, you need a little back story. I am in my first year of my true career. I have been working at a job I love - teaching college students - for 8 years now. I have worked as the lab coordinator for 2 years. However, this is the first year I have been on a full-time contract doing what I thought I would when I applied to graduate school many years ago. This opportunity is exciting. I think of not only what I can do to be better at my job, but also what I should do to advance my career. This has lead to thoughts of research, thoughts of returning to graduate school to finish my Ph.D., thoughts of more activities at work.
In the midst of these thoughts it has become clear that my middle schoolers are struggling. One has no free time - it is all homework and gymnastics practice. The other is on a grade roller-coaster - either make perfect grades or struggling to turn in any assignments. In all of this, I see a lack of care in their work. Due dates appear to be suggestions and there is no consistent rule for when late work is no big deal and when it is not even accepted. After a lot of prayer and discussion, we have decided to home school these 2 for the next academic year.
So thinking about advancing my career while being responsible for the education of a 12 and 13 year old feels overwhelming. So while I sat in the audience at graduation, I thought about what the speaker was saying about sacrifice. I had a real sense that God is calling me to sacrifice for my kids' education right now. They need me. God has big plans for these children of mine - plans that require them to have life skills like meeting deadline and paying attention to detail. These skills are lost on them right now and I have the opportunity to sacrifice my desires for a while to make sure they are ready for what God has in store for them.
There will be time for other sacrifices - those that will allow me to finish my Ph.D. and apply for promotion at work. But I need to remind myself that now is not that time. God is directing my path, and I feel that this is the sacrifice He is calling me to right now.
