I've been feeling a bit panicked about the start of school. Being a homeschooling mom with a full time job means that days are VERY full. Over the past 3 years, I have seen that I don't deal well with being hyper-scheduled and these 2 jobs require it. But it seems more than that. I have come to see that my main struggle centers around 1 kid. This kid was diagnosed with ADHD last year and really hates school. He is very intelligent but he doesn't believe it. He is also very determined to do what HE wants. So, I am asking you to pray for both me and this child, and hope that you gain some insight into what it means to parent and homeschool this particular child with ADHD.
1. Pray that my husband and I would have insight into how to help him. Keeping him on track - day by day, week by week - is a never ending puzzle of what works (today, because it is always changing) and what doesn't. I can't tell someone 'what are you going to do to help him' because, I don't know! I try something and if that doesn't work, I try something else.
2. Pray that I will ignore the judgmental and grace-less comments and looks I receive because of my child's school performance. Do you have any idea what mighty work of sanctification God is doing in my life (a high school valedictorian who graduated with Honors from college and graduate school) to know that my child is okay with a C grade or that turning in his assignment is not a big deal? I have come to the place where I know in my HEAD that all I can do is give assistance, ask to see work, put structure in place that gives him his best chance. I cannot (and will not) write his papers for him, re-do his assignments, or coach him through each problem or question when he has decided not to give effort. Unfortunately, he lives with the consequences of his bad choices - if he fails a class, he will be in summer school (like we did this year - so more work for me) or he might not be eligible to play the sports he enjoys.
3. Pray that God would do a work in this child's heart. He is struggling with a lot of frustration right now. He is struggling with confidence in his own ability.
4. Pray that we would be able to meet the needs of this child. He needs to learn to manage his own time and work better. When that doesn't happen, he needs appropriate consequences, which is sometimes that he is not permitted to participate in certain activities with friends. This child is an extrovert and isolation makes him more angry and frustrated, which does not help him focus on his work. So you see that we are in a quandary. We need lots of prayer for wisdom.
5. Pray that I would have some outlet - friend? - that I can share my struggles and frustrations with. I have encountered a couple of people who see this situation, and have offered grace and compassion and understanding. But these people are far and few between and I don't run into them on a regular basis.
6. Pray that we would find classes where both he and our family are supported. We thought we had his classes settled, but new requests (that seem to make additional demands of me rather than my student) from a coop administration are turning us a different direction. Pray also that we would know when additional tutors might be helpful and that we would be able to locate them at the right time.
Your prayers are needed. I am weak and a bit weary and the school year has not yet started! Thanks for reading and I appreciate your partnership through prayer.
Wednesday, August 10, 2016
Tuesday, August 2, 2016
Livin' on a Prayer
I've been convicted lately about a lot of things. A big one has been my lack of connection to the local expression of the body of Christ even though I have been a member there for almost 19 years. I attend Sunday School and church every Sunday, am a member of a small group, and serve in our music ministry, but I am not really connected. I can walk into the building and be there for almost 3 hours without a single person seeming to realize that I am there. Sometimes this is a blessing because when I do interact, I say the wrong thing or I share something hard and things go very wrong.
As we are approaching the beginning of a new academic year, I have mixed emotions. I am excited to see my students again. I am looking forward to the classes I will be teaching. I am overwhelmed by the thought of another year of working full time and homeschooling 3 kids. I am fearful that my kids will struggle and I won't have the ability to help them - possibly due to being overwhelmed or overworked. I am struggling with the thought of adding ONE MORE thing to my plate when I think about starting a PhD program. I feel frustrated and lonely when I consider the time all of these things require and know that most of my waking hours have already been claimed.
I feel very strongly that God has called me to minister at SWU. I teach students how to view biology and science as a Christian, while also encouraging them to be excellent in their work so they may be lights in their field and instruments useful to God. I strive to befriend and mentor students - some who need a listening ear, others who have never observed how a Christian family functions, and more who need guidance on classes or careers.
I feel very strongly that God has given me 3 children and the best place for them to be educated (for a variety of reasons) is through homeschooling. In the past 3 years I have experienced first hand how difficult and draining it is to teach your children. In the past year, we have added a ADHD diagnosis and the fun dynamics of the relationship between parents and teenagers. I have discovered of the 3 tasks needed to successfully homeschool - lesson planning/ teaching, grading, and record keeping - I can accomplish only 2 of these at the same time.
We are currently praying about the opportunity for me to begin (again) work on my PhD starting in January. The doors seem to be opening and aligning for this to be a possibility and other things have occurred which make this move seem wise.
So where does this leave me? I believe that many of the emotions expressed in the second paragraph are directly related to the lack of connection mentioned in the first paragraph. I truly believe that God has called us all to specific work in his kingdom, and that this is not restricted to those who are employed in "full-time Christian ministry" roles of pastors or missionaries. If I am doing the tasks and work above for the Lord and He has called me to that work, I am involved in full time Christian ministry.
My life has involved these different roles and responsibilities for the past 3 years and it has been hard. I probably haven't shared this with a lot of people because I fear the judgement and negative comments the have followed when I am most needy. But I need the support and encouragement of the body of Christ. I need prayers lifted on my behalf as I do the work God has called me to do. Tonight I have found both the courage and the words to place these before you and pray that God will use it for my good. So consider this my Prayer Letter. Will you join my ministry to both my children and my college students by praying?
As we are approaching the beginning of a new academic year, I have mixed emotions. I am excited to see my students again. I am looking forward to the classes I will be teaching. I am overwhelmed by the thought of another year of working full time and homeschooling 3 kids. I am fearful that my kids will struggle and I won't have the ability to help them - possibly due to being overwhelmed or overworked. I am struggling with the thought of adding ONE MORE thing to my plate when I think about starting a PhD program. I feel frustrated and lonely when I consider the time all of these things require and know that most of my waking hours have already been claimed.
I feel very strongly that God has called me to minister at SWU. I teach students how to view biology and science as a Christian, while also encouraging them to be excellent in their work so they may be lights in their field and instruments useful to God. I strive to befriend and mentor students - some who need a listening ear, others who have never observed how a Christian family functions, and more who need guidance on classes or careers.
I feel very strongly that God has given me 3 children and the best place for them to be educated (for a variety of reasons) is through homeschooling. In the past 3 years I have experienced first hand how difficult and draining it is to teach your children. In the past year, we have added a ADHD diagnosis and the fun dynamics of the relationship between parents and teenagers. I have discovered of the 3 tasks needed to successfully homeschool - lesson planning/ teaching, grading, and record keeping - I can accomplish only 2 of these at the same time.
We are currently praying about the opportunity for me to begin (again) work on my PhD starting in January. The doors seem to be opening and aligning for this to be a possibility and other things have occurred which make this move seem wise.
So where does this leave me? I believe that many of the emotions expressed in the second paragraph are directly related to the lack of connection mentioned in the first paragraph. I truly believe that God has called us all to specific work in his kingdom, and that this is not restricted to those who are employed in "full-time Christian ministry" roles of pastors or missionaries. If I am doing the tasks and work above for the Lord and He has called me to that work, I am involved in full time Christian ministry.
My life has involved these different roles and responsibilities for the past 3 years and it has been hard. I probably haven't shared this with a lot of people because I fear the judgement and negative comments the have followed when I am most needy. But I need the support and encouragement of the body of Christ. I need prayers lifted on my behalf as I do the work God has called me to do. Tonight I have found both the courage and the words to place these before you and pray that God will use it for my good. So consider this my Prayer Letter. Will you join my ministry to both my children and my college students by praying?
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