2012 Reading and 2013 Goals

My goal for 2012 was to read 35 books.  I surpassed my goal by 5 books. 

1. Water for Elephants - Gruen
2. Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist - Piper
3. Eat, Pray, Love - Gilbert
4. The Wind in the Willows - Grahame
5. The Hunger Games - Collins
6. The Help - Stockett
7. Finally Alive: What Happens When We are Born Again - Piper
8. The Woman in White - Collins
9. Catching Fire - Collins
10. Who Made God?: Searching for a Theory of Everything - Andrews
11. Radical Together - Platt
12. Middlemarch: A Study of Provincial Life - Eliot
13. The Litigators - Grisham
14. Mockingjay - Collins
15. Gospel Powered Parenting: How the Gospel Shapes and Transforms Parenting - Farley
16. Soul of Science - Pearcey
17. Coming to Peace with Science: Bridging the Worlds Between Faith and Biology - Falk
18. Genesis in Space and Time: The Flow of Biblical History - Schaeffer
19. The Ragamuffin Gospel: Good News for the Bedraggled, Beat-Up, and Burnt Out - Manning
20. The Last Child - Hart
21. Best Friends Forever - Weiner
22. A Change in Altitude - Shreve
23. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time - Haddon
24. The Brethren - Grisham
25. The 17 Day Diet: A Doctor's Plan Designed for Rapid Results - Moreno
26. The Midlife Miracle Diet: When Your Diet Doesn't Work Anymore - Puhn
27. Organizing the Disorganized Child: Simple Strategies to Succeed in School - Kutscher
28. Icons of Evolution: Science of Myth? - Wells
29. Galileo's Daughter: A Historical Memoir of Science, Faith, and Love - Sobel
30. Old Yeller - Gipson
31. Philosophy of Science: The Natural Sciences in Christian Perspective - Ratzsch
32. Aftershock: Protect Yourself and Profit in the Next Global Financial Meltdown - Wiedemer
33. Redeeming Science: A God-Centered Approach - Poythress
34. Should Christians Embrace Evolution: Biblical & Scientific Responses - Nevin
35. The Handmaid's Tale - Atwood
36. Saving Darwin: How to be a Christian and Believe in Evolution - Giberson
37. What the Best College Teachers Do - Bain
38. Divergent - Roth
39. Finding Darwin's God: A Scientist's Search for Common Ground Between God and Evolution - Miller
40. Anna Karenina - Tolstoy

I was again surprised by how much I enjoyed the classics I read.  Anna Karenina & The Woman in White were both very good!

I'm not sure of the length of some of the books I will be reading this year, so I think I will stick with a goal of 35 books.  I plan to rotate still between classic literature, non-fiction, and something I want to read (possibly recent fiction). 

So what did you read this year that you really enjoyed?

Musings Following "Saving Darwin's God"

The most recent book I’ve completed is Kenneth Miller’s Finding Darwin’s God.  This one took me a while to finish – not because the content was difficult, but because the work of the semester limited my reading time (well, that and finding Alias on Netflix).  As with my previous book, (Saving Darwin – see previous post) bad theology leads to some interesting conclusions.

There were too many times to count the number of times Miller said the he “knew” or science had “proved” something about the age of the Earth and the means of the appearance of life.  He even denigrates our ancestors saying that ‘our species has now grown up’ and that we should have a more sophisticated view of the history of our planet and species.  His comments show his ignorance of the limits of science.  Science cannot prove anything – the data support or refute hypotheses.  In addition, data support multiple hypothesis – some of which have not yet been thought of by humans.  I find it ironic that Miller has such a high view of science, which was conceived by our ancestors, when he then belittles the views of the same people.

Miller’s treatment of the Fall minimizes the effect of sin on the human heart and all of Creation.  Rather than acknowledge that we may not understand the impact of the Fall on biological systems, he dismisses such an idea with less than a paragraph.  Scripture is pretty clear that sin affected not only our spiritual condition, but the natural world, as well.

There were many points that Miller argued from history rather than from a proper understanding of Scripture.  In multiple areas, he gives erroneous interpretations of Scripture as the true meaning of the Bible.  I am not sure if he was trying to address these views within the church or not, but it seemed he tried to debunk a widely held idea based on what other people thought rather than debunk it with a correct interpretation of Scripture (what God thought).

As the book progressed from biological evolution, I learned much about Miller’s theology.

1.       He seems to believe that God is not involved in a natural process if that natural process can be explained by natural causes.  The only time that God intervenes is directly and in those cases, He suspends the laws of nature.

2.       He states that God HAD to make the world the way He did so it could be independent.  Otherwise, we live in a world with no free will, no independence.  He even argues this is so based on quantum theory.  

I don’t think that God is held hostage by the properties of matter.  God is eternal – matter is not!  My understanding of Scripture would say that God IS in control of His creation and He knows where history is leading.  But this does not eliminate free will – where we are free to act in harmony with our nature.  This reality is one of the mysteries of Scripture as I don’t fully understand how both are true.

Overall, this book had a lot of interesting views.  Christians who hold to evolutionary theory in various forms have gained an audience in the wider culture.  Yet, I wonder how many of Miller’s views mentioned above are shared by Collins and other popular Christian writers.

Musings following "Saving Darwin"

The past couple of weeks, I have been reading Saving Darwin by Karl Giberson.  The subtitle of this book indicates that it will examine how Christian faith and evolution can coexist.  If you have read my “Musings” on other books, you know that these are not critiques of the book.  However, I put down the thoughts running through my head as I digest and struggle with the ideas I have just encountered.

I have always held the position stated by Petcher and Morris (Science and Grace) in their Introduction that “there can be no contradiction between science and faith, properly understood” (emphasis mine).  As I read and learn, I see that having a proper understanding of the data and conclusions of science that is consistent with a proper understanding of what the Bible teaches is an exercise in mental calisthenics.  I see a great temptation of scientists that profess belief in the God of the Bible to exhaust their cerebral capabilities to understand the science and while neglecting a similar study and contemplation of the deep truths of the Bible and ultimately, theology.   If there has even been a book that highlighted the importance of taking ones theology seriously, this would be it. 

Early in the book, Giberson states that the “acid of evolution” and natural history dissolves pretty much all of the historicity of the events in Genesis, particularly Genesis 1-11.  It seems that Giberson believes that we must only hold to the historicity of Jesus and His work on our behalf in order to be Christians.  However, in doing so, he undermines the very facts that make the historicity of Jesus part of a rational view.   Books have been written on this topic (some I have read and others I have not) discussing these issues, but I will make a brief statement concerning my thoughts on this topic.   If Adam was NOT a historical figure and Jesus Christ WAS a historical figure, why do the Apostle Paul and the writer of Hebrews take such pains in the New Testament to tie Adam and Christ (the second Adam) together when describing the process of our justification?  They are either both metaphorical and spiritual or both historical figures.

Giberson spent his time arguing with a traditional creationist view of origins.  I say this because he continually referred to the fact that creationism states that God made all animals in the current form.  However, a careful reading of Genesis does not demand this at all, even though this has been a position of scientists and theologians in the past.  It seems possible to hold to a special creation of species without restricting them in how they might change over time.  I would echo the above statement from Petcher and Morris, and argue that it is likely that none of the currently accepted views (evolutionary, creationist, and others) have properly interpreted both general revelation (creation) and special revelation (Scripture). 

Toward the conclusion of the book, Giberson presents the evidences of evolution.  It seems clear from the summary of the evidence, that defending evolution on the basis of evidence was not a high priority for this book.  In addition to this treatment, Giberson does not seem to understand that experimental data can support multiple hypotheses – not just one.  I say this because the universality of DNA and common structures, which are both mentioned, do not exclude or refute a hypothesis of a special creation.  They both support such a hypothesis – unless you wish to say that special creations must not share anything in common, which is a common statement I have read by the supporters of evolution.  However, if we believe that a creator could create freely, who are we to dictate HOW they must have created?

Probably the most troubling shortcoming of the book is the treatment of Darwin’s rejection of a special creation due to pain and suffering within the animal world.  Examples of nature “red in tooth and claw” lead some to believe that God could not be involved in creation because His goodness and perfection is inconsistent with these aspects of Creation.  Giberson gives a one paragraph response in his 221 pages to the idea that the Fall resulted in significant changes – including suffering and torture in the animal world - to Creation.  He basically dismisses the idea that the Fall altered the physical creation at all and that it was a purely spiritual event.  However, it seems pretty clear that ALL of Creation fell with man and that the Fall affected the whole of man (physical and spiritual).  The Fall was no small matter – all of Creation is broken due to the effects of our rebellion.  It seems to me that a view that ignores the effects of the Fall does not understand the seriousness of sin or the holiness of God. 

From the standpoint of a book that recounts the relatively recent history between science and faith, Giberson brought much to my attention.  From that perspective, the majority of this book gave useful information.  But overall, I am underwhelmed by Giberson arguments.  I am concerned that THIS is what believing scientists have to read and contemplate as a proper Christian response to the controversy between science and evolution.  Giberson seems to hold high the importance of rationality and logic in science and these are seriously missing in many areas of the book, as well as his presentation of Christianity. 

Yard Work Chronicles - A Lesson from Special & General Revelation

We have lived in our home for a little more than 7 years.  We have always loved the gorgeous azaleas planted by the original owners of the house.  These bushes are about 30 years old.  A few of them are over 7 feet tall!  Even though the bushes are lush and green and clearly putting on new growth, they have not bloomed for the past 2 years.  So armed with a little bit of knowledge on pruning, a vision of a pretty yard, and a pair of loppers, I ventured out to take charge of my small domain.

I must confess that I have avoided pruning the azaleas for the past 3 years because I knew that I was not experienced in this area.  I was fairly certain that I would make a bigger mess of the plants or that I would be too aggressive in my treatment and they would die.  An unexpected event convinced me I would probably not kill the plant – my youngest child decided to ‘help’ in the yard by cutting down the ‘weeds’.  Sadly (or not), he believed the 30 year old azaleas were weeds.  He proceeded to hack them down with the loppers and was so proud of his work.  Nothing died.  Everything started putting on new growth.  This experience is the little bit of knowledge on pruning I have already referred to.  Surely I would not kill the plants and even if I did, they weren’t blooming anyway.

If you follow my sister’s blog, you may be expecting to see pictures and a detailed description of how I clipped the branches with ‘before’ and ‘after’ photos.  I’m sorry to disappoint you, as I didn’t take pictures before I started and I don’t have the patience to photo-chronicle itchy, sweaty yard work.  However, as I spent a few hours over a couple of days pruning the first 5 azaleas, my mind kept returning to John 15:2 “Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.”  I started thinking about the spiritual truths I could learn knowing that *I* am pruned by my loving Father.   Here are a few of those ideas:

Pruning is for the good of the plant and me – My azaleas have a purpose in my yard – to bloom in the spring.  If they are not fulfilling their purpose, what is the point of them being there?  I pruned them in hopes that will bloom, or produce fruit, again.  Likewise, if I am not fulfilling my purpose, which is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever, my Master Gardener needs to use whatever means possible to allow me to once again do that.

Pruning is painful – I’m reminded of a question posed to me in my FFA days, “Does a head of lettuce scream when you cut it?”  I did not HEAR any screams from the azaleas while I worked, but with my knowledge of biology, there certainly was stress put on the plant.  I’ll take this as an equivalent of our pain.  When the Master Gardener comes and prunes me, things, activities, events, and more can be removed or altered in my life.  These changes are sometimes abrupt and are often painful to be removed from my life.

Pruning leaves you somewhat bare and (GASP!) ugly – Here is one of the azaleas now.  Its bare and not very pretty – especially compared to how it looked before pruning.  This thought really consumed me as I worked.  How am I like this azalea?  The Master Gardener comes and removes the things that hinder me from fulfilling my purpose in His kingdom.  Sometimes these things are ‘good things’.  Often, these things look really good – both to me and others.  Perhaps these things have been exactly what the Gardner wanted and used in His kingdom in the past.  But these are not BEST things for NOW.  He wants to make me more in the image of His Son.  He has more for me to do – perhaps in different places of service and to different people.  I can fight with my Master Gardeners pruning a little more than my azaleas, but that just prolongs the pain.  The Master Gardener knows best.  He sees His plan.  I should be thankful that he has seen fit to keep me in His garden and allow me to do my small part of bearing fruit.

Pruning will result in greater beauty – I am excited to see the new growth in my azaleas.  Hopefully, we will also see greener foliage and brighter blooms.  The same will be true of me.  As a new creation in Christ, I am promised “beauty for ashes”.  As part of his bride, I am included in the glorious bride described in Revelation.  How awesome to know the truth that my ‘light and momentary troubles are not worth comparing to the glory that will be revealed’ (Romans 8:18).

I am still mulling these truths and how God is pruning me.  While it is not always pleasant, it is encouraging to be able to see the Lord’s loving work in my life.  I pray he will prune me to be useful in His kingdom, whether in big or small ways.

If you read my blog, please share your thoughts in the comments section.  I would love to hear from you and to know your thoughts on this topic or others.

10 Things I Hate About You

So I seem to have shifted from a song title to movie title theme on my blog titles.  So in honor of my teenager-ish broken out skin, here is my list of some of the things that Staci hates about Staci.

10. I let myself stop running and exercising at the beginning of the school year and can't get myself back into the habit.  It has not been good for me, but I truly can't figure out how to fit it in on most of my days.  Work and famly take up all the daylight hours.  With the days getting longer, maybe there is hope.  At least the school year will be over soon, which should free up some time.

9. My feelings sometimes get hurt easily and then I can't 'forgive and forget'.  I am an elephant.  If the hurt was significant, I remember it forever - or for at least 25 years (that's the longest one I can think of).

8. I am a perfectionist.  Sometimes I am really proud of this trait.  But a lot of times, it is a big negative.  I can't stand to mess up and then realize that someone else knows it.  I especially can't stand for you to see my mistakes and then show them to me.

7. My pancreas has been killed by bad genetics and 3 pregnancies.  I wish I did not need to exercise (see #10) to be healthy, but that is not to be.  I am destined to be a Diabetic - my choices are just prolonging the time until they will see the need to officially diagnose me.  This makes me feel old and damaged.  I hate that I have an actual disease that won't be healed this side of heaven.

6. I don't have degrees of liking people.  You are either in or out.  So I either love you to death (ie - my husband, my children, Dale Jr., Trevor Bayne, Brett Favre) or I pretty much despise you (ie - Kyle Busch, Tim Brady, some people from high school - see #9).

5. My skin is greasy - even now - but it HAS NOT prevented wrinkles!  How can you have zits and wrinkles on the same face!! 

4. I have an apathetic attitude toward some people in my life.  I don't really care that this is the case, but I know it SHOULD NOT be the case. Change in this area will take some heavenly intervension, which I know if possible.

3. I don't brag on my kids enough.  That don't get the press they deserve from me in this blog or other social media.  They are awesome, too!  Tinley continues to do well in gymnastics and has gotten more organized with her school work.  Troy built a jet balloon toy (wish I had pictures) that pulled the most weight in the whole 5th grade, as is about to bridge to Boy Scouts. Trent had an amazing report card (in the 99th percentile on all subjects) and did a great job as Andrew Johnson on Famous American Day.  You can see videos and photos on my facebook or twitter home.

2. I have no idea how to build meaningful relationships, which is why I don't have any.  Aside from my husband, I really don't have good friends.  I have lots of acquaintances, but if my world fell apart and I needed help, I have no earthly idea who I would call/ email/ or contact.  Its partly because I am not very likeable (see #3-10 above) and pretty self-centered.  Or maybe that is all of it.

1. I really care what other people think of me in every area of my life.  And I want to be well thought-of and recognized.  This almost always DOES NOT happen, and it makes me sad and sometimes angry.

I could probably list more things that I don't like about myself. Most of these things would have been on a list like this 20 years ago. I want to see growth!  It is wonderful and humbling that husband (Eric) and my Savior (Jesus) see and know all of these things. But they still like and love me! There is truly no one else that I can say this about - but what a gift to have more than 1 that I can say it about. I believe my growth comes in the form that I see all of my shortcomings even more clearly and I recognize two things: 1) It is truly amazing that Jesus would sacrifice Himself on my behalf when these 10 things are not the only sins and shortcomings I have and 2) I need His amazing grace to allow his love and mercy and goodness to flow through me.  None of the good things that I want to do or to change can be generated within myself.  He is the only source of goodness or even the desire for goodness.

So while I look at my shortcomings, faults, and sins, I am thankful that they point me back to the cross.  That is my only hope.

Musings following the books, 'Desiring God' & 'Eat Pray Love'

The last 2 books I read have been Desiring God by John Piper (2^nd reading) and Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.  Both had been hanging on my ‘To Read’ list for at least 2 years. They were not in this order on my list, either.  I think it is so amazing how God in His sovereignty had me read these 2 books in this order. 

While reading Desiring God, I was struck again by my own lack of joy and how I so often lose my focus on what my ultimate source of peace and comfort are.  It inspired me to a greater desire to cultivate prayer in my life.  I have been constantly dwelling on the fact that I am to find joy in God and thinking about how that works itself out practically in my own life.

I then started reading Eat Pray Love.  This book is somewhat of a memoir of Gilbert’s journey through searching for peace and contentment.  While she never really claims a religion, it seems to pull together religious ideas from many traditions into something she feels comfortable with.  In the end, she finds wholeness and contentment and happiness.  She sees herself as good and loving and whole.

I feel that I can relate to the deep heart struggle of Gilbert throughout the book.  I have struggled with having happiness in various circumstances and being melancholy.  But I don’t understand the road she chose to examine her questions and longings.  My thoughts swung between disagreeing with Gilbert’s approach to the realization that ‘but for the grace of God, there I go’.  As I read and considered these things, the following thoughts were never far from me

1.       There is only 1 way to true happiness, contentment, and joy.  The God revealed in the Bible created us and is therefore the only way to fill the void in our innermost being.

2.       Eat Pray Love was a best-selling book, and all of the reviews I read focused on people’s opinion of Gilbert’s actions in the book.  Either they thought she was completely selfish or envied her year of self-discovery.  It seems telling about our culture that not one review focused on what she believed (as I feel I am doing here).  We have bought into the idea that WHAT you believe is not that important.  Truth is whatever works for you and makes you happy.  I am not sure how we retreat from these positions and return to a healthier place of appreciating Truth.

Piper has a chapter in Desiring God where he talks a lot about what if the Bible is not true.  He quotes I Corinthians 15:19 “If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied.”  As Gilbert searches for life’s deeper meaning in Italy and Bali, I found this an interesting contrast.  Because the Bible IS true and we have a hope for eternity, I found myself feeling really bad for Gilbert – pitying her, even.  She is sitting in what might be considered a paradise here on earth, but because she is not a Christian, it is temporal and fleeting.  But because I belong to God, I am greatly blessed (which to me the opposite of being pitied) even while I shuttle children, clean house, put out fires at work, and deal with difficult relationships.  Thanks be to God for this wonderful gift.

On Second Thought...

I’ve been turning some blog posts over in my mind since my last post right after Christmas.  While there are many thoughts, emotions, and ideas running wild, I just can’t put any of them down ‘on paper’.  I’ve talked it over with my husband, and on these topics, I am going to have to declare my blog description is not entirely accurate.  This is not a place where I can come and be completely open and honest on all topics.  It seems people actually might READ my posts ;-)  And, quite frankly, some of my thoughts and ruminations are none of your business.  I’m kind of frustrated by this realization.  My blog was supposed to be an outlet and place of sharing.  But I feel too fragile and too dangerous at the same time.  Some of my words have the potential to harm others and then ricochet back and cause serious damage. 

So while I will certainly be myself, I am giving myself permission to hold some things in private.  The thing I am realizing is that lack of sharing with the outside world does not indicate a lack of pride, enjoyment, or satisfaction with my marriage, my children, or any other aspect of my life.  For years I have felt that my feelings toward these people and things were inferior because my joy and contentment were not shouted on Facebook or splashed in beautiful pictures and words in this blog. 

No matter how honest or open I am here, it will never replace the desire for friendship with real people, and I have tried to allow this forum to substitute for real relationships.  As I type this, it seems stupid to have ever thought that way.  I did not set out with that as my goal, but the idea of the blog filled the vacuum where relationships ought to be.  So feel free to read on in the future.  Maybe soon I’ll feel less dangerous or fragile.

Thoughts from December and 2011 Reading

As usual, our family travelled to Tennessee for the Christmas holiday.  This past Christmas fell on Sunday, and during our morning worship, we celebrated Communion.  I was really struck by how appropriate that is in many ways, but particularly on a personal level. 

Some trips to Tennessee are fun and enjoyable.  Others are filled with strife, complaining, and general 'un-niceness' between family members.  This seemed to have many elements of the latter description.  During Communion, I was struck afresh with the reality of my own sin, my own involvement and participation in these activities.  I commented to my husband that partaking in Communion in that setting was a good thing.

However, over the next 2 days, the trend continued.  Many things were said that were just not nice and should have been left unsaid.  I was hurt by unkind words by those who are supposed to love and care for me.  While driving home and during the following days, I was struck by my own hand in the culture and attitude that was present within my extended family over the Christmas holiday.  I certainly don't condone or excuse the hurtful words thrown at me, but the Lord has graciously shown me more of my own sin through this.  In the busyness of the semester and holidays my time devoted to Scripture and prayer had greatly diminished.  I see again that I cannot be the sister and daughter (or mother or wife) I am called to be without daily saturation in His Word.  I do not love my family as I should.  I do not build them up or speak truth to them.

I am sad that I 'blew it' this Christmas, but I am even more thankful that the Lord has shown me this sin in my life and promises that He will never leave me or forsake me.  I am thankful for his sanctification and pray that He will allow me to be a beacon of love and kindness to these same family members in the future.

I'm also listing here the books I read in 2011.  I believe my goal was to read 30 books this year and work on my BBC list of books.  I did pretty well on both.

Books Read in 2011
The Hitchhikers Guide Trilogy - Adams
Darwin's Black Box
Charlotte's Web
Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Hardy
Good Things I Wish You
Knowing God - Packer
Alice in Wonderland - Carroll
Through the Looking Glass - Carroll
Age of Opprtunity - Tripp
Engaging God's World - Plantinga
The Confession - Grisham
Persuasion - Austen
The Associate - Grisham
Artermis Fowl (Book 1)
Ford County Stories - Grisham
The Davinci Code - Brown
Lacemakers of Glenmara
Life of Pi
Treasure Island
Why Pandas Do Handstands
The God Delusion - Dawkins
The Dawkins Delusion - McGrath
Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows
Saving Leonardo - Pearcey
DNA - A Graphic Guide to the Molecule that Shook the Universe - Rosenfeld
Total Truth - Pearcy
Fever 1793
Catch 22 - Heller
Humility - Mahaney
The Velveteen Rabbit
Rebecca - duMaurier
Bonhoffer - Metaxas
The Unlikely Disciple
Les Miserables - Hugo
Total = 36 books

My goal for 2012 is to read 35 books in the coming year.  Reading and exercising are probably the 2 best stress relieving activities that I participate in.  However, I have always enjoyed reading and can't wait to continue to my lists of books that I want to go through.  I always learn neat and unexpected things in all of the genres I read.  I would challenge everyone to branch out and read something you never expected to read in the coming year.